Besides the fact that this story features the triumph of a good deer over a clearly bad one, I like that the entire narrative is a single sentence. I was slightly disappointed that the knuckle sandwich never got delivered, but I also realize the author may have been facing some physiological issues he hadn’t encountered previously. Where are a deer’s knuckles, anyway?
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Reading this story filled my spirit with a sense of triumph. Fabulous!
You and me both, haha. I’ll pass your compliments on to the Maker, age 9. (I’m going to try and refrain from suggesting improvements to capitalization, punctuation, etc. We’ll see how that goes.)
Methinks your ‘mommy radar’ is spot on.. for now you should most def pass up any editorial urges and focus more on the “content”. Although, it should be done in a sereptitious kind of way, of course – dont’ want to stiffle any creative streak simply because you thought someone pushed him down at recess once..
BTW, don’t we all live “haply” to some extent?
Adv. 1. haply – by accident, chance or luck.
.-= Sine Botchen´s last blog ..The Color of a Brisk and Leaping Day =-.