halloween

Post image for The Dark Road to… Darkness.

Beware children! See how easy it is to slip from an ordinary good boyhood into shudder-inducing nightmarish-ness. Nightmarish-osity. Something dark that involves hissing and a small amount of drool, anyway.

I was surfing through some of my recent pictures and came across these two from earlier this year — taken on demand from the Maker, who relishes a pair or five of those cheap plastic Halloween vampire teeth. I always purchase a “Party Pack” of these (the name makes me snort) and then I’m exceedingly careful never to touch the myriad pairs I see laying around the house for the next month or so.

After about six weeks I don’t have to worry about them anymore since they’ve all been shared with friends and left at their houses, sliced and diced by the lawnmower, run through the wash and thrown out by me, or carried off by the cats. Tidy, huh?

Nobody ever talks about who cleans up after Darkness.

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Happy Halloween!

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Halloween Popcorn Balls

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We were the family on the block who laboriously made and distributed popcorn balls to trick-or-treaters at Halloween. During the years that we did it, nobody was talking about razor blades wickedly secreted in apples, and you never heard anyone brag about the house with factory-made candy: WE were the shizz. The only people who [...]

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Halloween Toes

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Boys, I’m not even going to apologize for posting this ’cause I am so rockin‘ the black Halloween toenail polish. I wanted to ask the professionals who applied it if they could add little skulls, or aliens, or Disney princesses, or a swine flu virus molecule or something scary but I figured it would be [...]

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Worst Halloween Decor Ever

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It’s not like I expected elegance; I was at the Dollar Store. But these bad girls smacked me in the eyeballs as soon as I walked in and I nearly took a cramp from the pain. Yikes. You know those ugly ceramic masks everyone except for us hung on their wall in the 80′s? Mardi [...]

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Men With Mustaches

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Who doesn’t love a Wack-O-Wax mustache? It’s fun to say, even if you already ate your ‘stache: wack-o-wax, wack-o-wax, wack-o-wax. They are reputedly grape in flavor, but I’m gonna say… um, okay, we can call it “grape.” Sure. But more importantly, Wack-O-Wax’s Mr. Stache goes with every outfit for every occasion! And at 99 cents [...]

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Happy Halloween

Halloween Central was at Meme and Papa’s house; the First and the Ice handed out candy while the Maker (dressed as an “army guy”) trick-or-treated around our block. You can see the Jack carving pics on my Flickr.

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13 Things Dracula Would Never Be Caught (Dead) Doing

1. using his inhaler 2. stain-treating his laundry 3. printing off comics with silly putty 4. surfing lolcats 5. taking part in a balloon-popping relay race 6. knitting (or scrapbooking) 7. auditioning for Cats 8. planning a trip to Gatlinburg 9. downloading Legally Blonde to his video iPod 10. doing the child pose 11. making [...]

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One of My Earliest Stupid Ideas, and How It Turned Out

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Watching “Salem’s Lot” while babysitting at home one night. Yep. Here’s the basic timeline of events. 1975: I was ten years old when the “Salem’s Lot” book came out. I read it, so I should have known better than to watch the movie. Alone. At night. 1979: The made for TV movie came out. I [...]

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