Running out of bad words

2240243119_585494bd57_oWarning: Boxing is a contact sport. Any contact sport can be dangerous and result in serious injury. Anyone using this equipment must assume the risk of any serious injury.

Every piece of boxing gear I own says this, and you can trust the author: it’s perfectly true. I have had a sprained wrist (training for boxing), injured shoulder (training for boxing), and now a busted rib (boxing). The first two I whined about, but with this one I have run slap out of bad words and need to borrow some, if you have any extras lying about.

The biggest fattest ass-pain about this is trying to get in bed at night, attempting sleep movements (just don’t), and trying to get out of bed in the morning. If we could dispense with the whole “people should rest at night” thing I’d probably be just fine. Although that may be taking it a bit far.

The doctor was all nonchalant: “Yeah, I see this ALL the time, football players with rib injuries,” then, belatedly, “How did you get this injury again?”

He flattered me out of the meds I wanted, though. He said, “Most of the guys who come in here are moaning and can’t breathe, all hunched over.…” He eyed me standing there calmly, and considered his hunchbacks of Notre Dame football boys. “You seem to be doing pretty well,” he concluded, “You’re in pretty good shape.”

Things I wish I’d said at that point:

“Boxer chicks are tuff.”
“I had natural childbirth three times.”
“You should see me skip rope.”
“I have a tattoo.”

What I actually did was stand there and nod my head stupidly when he said he thought I could probably get by on ibuprofen. He did tell me he would write a prescription “if you really think you need it,” but I was enamored with the idea of being tuff and lost my chance. Crap. (See what I mean about the bad words?)

He also told me that the football players wear a piece of gear that protects their ribs, and he dashed out of the examining room, then came back to tell me the name of the supplier. I started to remind him that I wasn’t a football player, but opted out in the end. I’ll bet the football gear says the same crap the boxing gear says anyway.

So. I’m out of the game for a couple of months, and the main reason I’m grouchy is that it is just so hard to get in condition. Getting in condition is harder than getting in the ring and you spend more time and energy doing it. Given how horrifying the thought of getting hit in the ribs is right now, I feel a fair amount of trepidation about getting in the ring, but I’m guessing that will fade as I heal. And I have to start with conditioning anyway, so my main focus will be on figuring out how to do that. Again. Damnit.

Image by melissajonas on Flickr 

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8 Responses to Running out of bad words

  1. Teri Saylor February 11, 2009 at 11:59 am #

    Oh Noooo….not a busted rib! It’s always something when you are an athlete de-luxe. I’m so sorry and hope you can get back in the game…er, RING soon. Hang in there. This post was raw, baby. You make Miss Congeniality seem like a total posey. You are one tuff chick!

  2. Lisa Creech Bledsoe February 11, 2009 at 4:29 pm #

    Thanks for the love, sister. I don’t feel like a tuff chick, I feel like a whiner. But I’m planning a comeback, complete with a comeback party. Or maybe I just want a party…!

  3. Brandy February 12, 2009 at 12:12 am #

    Oh I pulled my external intercostal muscle on my right side and that hurt a lot. It was painful and I had to take two ibprofren twice a day, sometimes up to three. I icey hot, epsom salt bathed it out of my system.

    So you are going through worse pain than what I dealt with. I couldn’t sleep at night because I would want to cry everytime I turned over. UGH. I feel for you. Get better soon!

    Now, I stretch out like a freak everyday before I hula hoop. Yes, hooping is serious. haha

  4. Lisa Creech Bledsoe February 12, 2009 at 9:24 am #

    Ai, yai, yai, Brandy! How long did it take you to recover fully?

    I watched your hula hooping vids — you make it look easy but I’m guessing it’s much harder than it looks.

    Here’s to the ibuprofen highway!

  5. Mary February 12, 2009 at 10:01 am #

    I’ll be happy to send you a long list of dirty words as soon as I can put my hands on it. They came in a letter from a friend this one time when I was in Arkansas.

    Also, I didn’t realize you’d be out of the ring for months. I’m so sorry. You know if you phone the doctor’s office, he’ll call in that prescription for you…

  6. Brandy February 12, 2009 at 12:49 pm #

    It took me…about 2 months to feel fully recovered. 🙂 I didn’t start feeling normal until recently so AWHILE.

    Enjoy the profen! haha

  7. Sine Botchen February 18, 2009 at 9:47 pm #

    I should own stock in Aleve (sodium naproxen).. 3 of those puppies and I can eventually sleep at some point during the night. My doctor wanted to prescribe something but I told him that I’d just end up taking them for fun. He seem both amused and shocked at this. What can I say?

  8. Lauren (the lil sis) March 7, 2009 at 9:47 pm #

    You are way tougher than I would be! You always have been…ever since we were kids! You can do it! Here are a couple of swear words from our childhood. Momma’s fave…fiddlesticks. Words of the time…SHAZAM!!! Gee Whillackers, golly gee. Hope it helps!

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