The Glowing Edge

Category: Bands & Music

  • Or, “I love women who aren’t afraid to put on a few pounds”

    I am continually astonished that anyone would try to pick me up in a bar. Last night four of us went out to hear a band, and I happened to wander out from where we were sitting. I had been standing by the dance floor watching the band (and the dancing-like-mad young women) for less than two minutes when a thirty-something guy in a white dress shirt and khakis comes over to me and says, “You look lonely.”

    Or at least that’s what I heard. I was so surprised to be spoken to at all that I gave him a baffled look and the brilliant reply, “Huh?”

    “You look lovely!” he repeated, sidling closer.

    Oh! “I’m waiting for my friends to come over,” I said quickly, pointing frantically in their general direction, and feeling a moment of mingled shock and panic.

    He beat a quick retreat, lifting his hands and saying, “Hey, I was just paying you a compliment!” before briskly walking off.

    Good heavens. All these beautiful young women in designer clothes around and he goes for the forty-two year old in jeans and no make-up.

    At least he didn’t tell me I was prettier than a beer truck.

  • Noon, Quiet House

    I’m wearing my Death Cab for Cutie tee-shirt and listening to Transatlanticism. I made myself a slice of (mmm, white!) bread with (mmm, smooth!) peanut butter, and decided to save the other slice of bread and spread a thin layer of butter on it, then sprinkle it with a quarter teaspoon of (mmm, fat-free!) sugar.

    Even though I have a lot of work to do today, I think it’s going to be an okay day.

  • stop everything, listen to the noisettes!

    Sometimes the soundtrack of my life is feeling completely out of sync when suddenly everything explodes into life and the joint rocks.

    Last night, my Husband and I are on a date at a naff little club that’s part bar, part high-dollar seafood place. On the sound system we hear the following string of songs:

    1. Music Box Dancer, Frank Mills (excuse me, HOW did this reach #3 on Billboard, EVER? I used to be able to play it, along with every other 14 year old girl in 1979.)
    2. Somebody to Love, Queen
    3. Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song, BJ Thomas
    4. Three Times a Lady, Lionel Ritchie
    5. Take a Chance on Me, Abba

    Who was in control of this playlist??? Have them removed.

    HOWEVER, today I heard The Noisettes for the first time ever and my 10-inch black and white little Saturday morning was suddenly in fullblown HiDef. With sparkles. You MUST stop everything and experience the Noisettes! After the “Don’t Give Up” video blows your world apart, do “Sister Rosetta.” Things will NEVER be the same.

  • The Twisted Sister Guide to Life (or, Dad’s in a Rock Band)

    Dad to The Maker: What do you want to do with your life?
    The Maker: I wanna be a bow guy.
    (moment of silent confusion)
    Dad: “Huh?”
    The Maker: You know, one of those guys who shoots a bow.
    Dad: Oh.
    (pause, while getting back on track)
    Dad: Honey, next time I ask you what you want to do with your life I want you to say “I wanna ROCK!”

  • beware interns: it IS all about Guns n’ Roses (an email exchange)

    Coworker: …Let me know if you have questions.

    Me: You know, I DO have questions: Why is the sky blue? And what dope designed those vegetable bags that SAY you can ziplock them, but when you try to open them, the whole dang thing just rips to heck? Thank you for asking.

    Coworker: Blue sky – It’s blue because “She’s got eyes of the bluest skies as if they thought of rain” in Sweet Child o’ Mine wouldn’t make sense. It’s all about GnR. Vegetable bags – This was done by an intern who has since been killed.

  • Bar Conversation Hypothesis

    The boys rockin the house…

    I usually go at least once or twice a month to hear the Husband play in an 80’s metal cover band. (No, he didn’t listen to that music growing up, but he does play bass and his friend was looking for a bass player.) I’m starting to form a hypothesis that the conversations you hear/have in a bar fall into one of four categories:

    1. Rock star fantasies
    2. Dramatic, sometimes weepy, declarations of love
    3. Non-sequiturs
    4. Observations on other people’s bad/stupid/outrageous behavior

    For example, last night during the second set (everything juicy happens in the second set) I happened to see a guy wearing a Corrosion of Conformity shirt.

    Me: “Hey, is COC still around? I saw them play live here years ago.”

    Guy: “Oh man, I LOVE Corrosion of Conformity! Hey, I KNOW those guys really well!”

    Me: “Really?”

    Guy: “Yeah! I was almost their drummer! I talked to those guys for like a month! I almost got to play drums for their next album! I was like, this close! I was almost their drummer!”

    That was sort of a combination of numbers one and two above. And it was kinda sweet, in a way. Doesn’t every guy wish he played in a rock band?

    Here’s my favorite example of number three and two from last night. I was in the women’s room with an older woman and we are waiting our turn when the stall door bursts open and a tearful young woman with beautiful long brown hair says:

    Long Brown Hair: “OMG. Do you have a hair tie? I really need a hair tie! I can’t find mine, I think it came out! OMG, I don’t know what I’m going to do!”

    The older woman and I, stunned by the outburst, slowly raise our hands to our boy-length hair. Before either of us can say a word, the twenty-something at the sink turns woozily and cries:

    Long Blond Hair: “Oh, honey, I know what you mean! I have always wanted short, darling hair like theirs, haven’t you? That style is so gorgeous, don’t you think? I have always wanted short hair like that.”

    Then everybody hugged each other and we went back out to dance to “Pour Some Sugar on Me.”

    There were three people who were the clear subject of number four above.

    The first two were a couple who could have left and gone to his/her place, but didn’t. Once in a while a guy would circle around the oblivious couple, pretending to videotape the action.

    The other was a dude who kept standing worshipfully in front of the lead guitar player, frequently trying to get his attention during the middle of a song. Sigh. The price of fame and glory. In this particular bar, the band sets up and plays on a stage that has a rail all the way around the front of it. (Heh. Sort of like an altar rail.) Fortunately the I-need-to-talk-to-you-right-now-while-you-are-playing-“Back in Black’” guy couldn’t actually get to the lead guitar player, but we all had fun saying things about him. Obviously a number one and four.

    Compelling hypothesis, isn’t it? More testing is required, of course, but I could be on to something big.