space-boxing-alien

Flight Fight Sports

It’s Google’s fault. I typed in “fight sports” and they asked, in that oh-so-superior voice, “Did you perhaps mean FLIGHT sports, Hon?”

No, you morons. I might misspell HervĂ© Villechaize but I’ve GOT this one, thanks. Sheez.

Anyway, I posted the error to Facebook, and suddenly a Flight Fight meme was born. Matt, the joker, thought of it and got it started with a “boxing with jet propulsion packs!” suggestion. And it went from there.

Flight Fight Sports

1. Boxing with jet-packs (via Matt Brown)
I like this one because there’s the possibility of being burned. Severely. Which could be a distraction. Also we’re going to have to figure out a different way to control the jet-pack, since we need our hands for strikes, and anyway those gloves are not conducive to fine motor skills.

2.Boxing on trampolines (via Jim Yadon)
Y’know, Jim, this one just screams “injury!” to me. Having invested thousands in a trampoline injury repair on the Ice a couple of years back, I’m going to put this off-limits to the under-18 set. I mean, jet-packs are one thing, but trampolines are just dangerous.

3. Boxing while skydiving (via Lauren Franklin)
Hi, Little Sis; Mom’s not gonna be thrilled with this one, but me, I like it. It shows moxy. I’m not sure whether the skydivers are going to be able to get close enough to each other to actually throw punches, so I say we give them big whackers of some sort. Wait, I know! Hockey sticks. That should do it.

4. Trapeze kickboxing (via Tom Derosier)
I like the way your mind works, Tom. This is a simple, workable idea, and I think the circus would be better for it. But it’s gonna be short, brutal, and the pros won’t get a net. I also liked your bungee Thai fighting idea, too. But I don’t know enough about Thai fighting yet, so I’ll leave that one to the experts.

5. Boxing while base jumping (the First)
I can tell you are legitimately blood of my blood, Son. Those base jumpers are mad cool. Or what about boxing while free running? The idea of trading punches while careening madly off of hard urban landscapes is pretty hip. Check these guys out:

6. Boxing in space (via my glowing, radioactive brain)
Here’s the thing: add “space” or “zombie” to pretty much anything and its groovy factor  automatically skyrockets (Get it? Skyrockets?). I would love to see what permutations space spin puts on my favorite sport. I think the whole thing would look a bit balletic. Arty. Like, people would make YouTube videos of it with Pink Floyd or Iron & Wine tunes in the background and watch them while chemically unbalanced.

7. Airplane wing boxing (duh!)
How did we miss this one, peoples? Wing walkers were doing their incredible stunts long before we all had trampolines in our backyard. Those dudes are phenomenal, and seems to me you could even have a modified ring up there on your biplane.

The Olympic Committee won’t know what hit ’em.

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One Response to Flight Fight Sports

  1. lil sis November 6, 2009 at 9:36 am #

    I have been waiting FOREVER for this post! It is even better than what I had in my head! I love it and you are right……wing walking IS a great idea! Maybe you could rig something up beneath the plane? But there seems to be a balance issue that would be imperative to figure out. HMMMMM too much for my brain at the moment. I have yet to have my second cup of java to stimulate my brain, that’s my excuse and I am sticking to it!

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