how to make sloppy joes

by the First, age 12.

Prepare:
The First: “Hey Mom, you want sloppy joes for dinner?”
Mom: “No thanks.”
(disappointed silence)
Mom: “But you could make them.”
The First (underwhelmed): “Oh.”

Then:
1. Dump frozen turkey into overheated skillet.
2. Realize paper frozen to bottom of turkey is now on fire.
3. Ask Mom to stop doing flash cards with cranky 7 year old brother in order to address fire issues and, more importantly, fix your sloppy joes.

PS: This recipe doesn’t work.

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