TGE Badass Guide 3

How to Publish Your Badass Book

If your inner demons have ever said to you, “Hey loser, you’re never gonna get your book written, much less published,” my partner-in-writing-badassery Sonja Foust and I are gonna give you some nice sharp rocks to throw in those bastards’ faces.

Our newest book, Vampires and Tantric Sex: How to Publish Your Book Like a Bona Fide Badass” has just come out on Amazon and it’s FREE starting May 30, and for a few days after.

Here’s a little (strip) teaser…

Listen, you already know that publishing — even if you go the self-published online route, which is definitely the fastest — isn’t a get rich quick scheme, no matter what that dude on the infomercial or pop-up-infested sales page promised you.

It’s hard work, and it takes time.

In fact, publishing is like tantric sex, in which we are (of course) both experts. Actually, it’s like über-tantric sex, if you’ll allow us to mix the Germans with the Hindus, because rather than a six-hour naked marathon session, it’s more like a six-month to two-year naked (soul) marathon.

Tell your inner demons to put that in their pipes and smoke it. They’ll probably quite like it, and switch sides immediately. That, at least, is worth the effort of downloading, wouldn’t you agree?

This publishing-as-über-tantric-soul-sex marathon is mostly fun and you do get several little orgasms plus a big, juicy one at the end. Which is really just the beginning, because after tantric publishing comes tantric marketing (<– our next book), which is actually more like an orgy (in which we are also both experts), because you want lots of excited people involved to help you “get it off.” Hah.

And you thought this book was gonna be dull.

If you haven’t immediately deleted us from your hard drive, unfriended us both on Facebook, and written your congressman an angry letter in which you foam at the mouth and denounce us as frauds (we are not experts at that), we got more good stuff…coming.

And we always practice safe publishing, y’all. And you’re gonna like it. Especially if you’re into a little BDSM.

No dirty limericks or whiskey, buuuuut…

Not only are you gonna discover what you need to know BEFORE you publish, you’ll also get the full story on traditional and online publishing (with timelines and worksheets for all), AND you’ll get to see exactly how the two of us did it, too.

You’ll find out:

  • The advantages and disadvantages to traditional (with the “Big Six” or a small press) and online (on your own or for a client) publishing
  • What each part will cost you, and how long it will take
  • Which parts of the process are easiest to outsource
  • How to navigate the secret hell of formatting for online publishing platforms

No dirty limericks are included this time (no whiskey, either), but if we could give you all a present it would definitely be a “Be nice or I’ll mock you in my novel” tee-shirt. And if you want MORE really-it’s-chocolate-flavored unicorn pellets, see the next bit…

Collect ’em all!

Just in case you missed it earlier, the first book in the Badass Writing Series, Bagels, Dirty Limericks, and Martinis: The Badass Guide to Writing Your First Book, will help you get your ideas out of your head and down on paper, tell you the ironclad rules of writing (and why most of them are crap), take you step by step through writing your first outline in 5 minutes (or less), and reveal the secrets to plotting, editing, and FINISHING your book.

The second book, Whiskey-Pissing Unicorns: How to Lose or Quit Your Job and Become a Badass Writer  includes three critical questions (and one sneaky-ass trick) you should consider when deciding whether you really wanna be an ink-slave, explains precisely where badass writers find paying jobs (not counting Wal-Mart, hah), and tells you what does and doesn’t keep the baby in Huggies.

Vampires and Tantric Sex: How to Publish Your Book Like a Bona Fide Badass is the third book in the series…

And our fourth book has a working title of Marketing Mofo: How to Sell Moar Copies of Your Badass Book. (We may or may not spell the title in lolcat.) And if we get a good electrical storm in the next few weeks, we’ll be able to hook that one up in the laboratory and jolt it to life by July. See below for how to find out when the monster is free and rampaging through the digital streets…

Write Dammit Cover (s)

Get “Write, Dammit” for Free, too!

If you want to get our free book, 25 Reasons to Write, Dammit, go sign up over at Badass Writing. You might want to get it purely for the handy-dandy list of penis-inspired names for the characters in your books. Of course you might want to avoid it entirely for that reason, too. Maybe wear gloves for that download.

Any rate, you won’t get any kind of regular newsletter-y thing (too much work) when you sign up, but we’ll def let you know whenever one of our new books is coming out for freesies.

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2 Responses to How to Publish Your Badass Book

  1. Just Amorous June 22, 2013 at 9:41 pm #

    So glad I found this, the timing is excellent. I’ve been thinking about publishing a book over a year now and haven’t had a lot of luck finding info on next steps. Thanks!

    • Lisa Creech Bledsoe June 23, 2013 at 8:37 am #

      Kewl! So glad you found the Badass Writing series. Whatcha planning to write about? (If you don’t want to tell the universe your brilliant idea, feel free to email me at lisa [at] I hope you’ll let me know how it goes. Btw, nice women’s site you’ve got going over there…

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