Like King Midas Only Disgusting

When I came home from work today my hand stuck to the doorknob. I went to the fridge: same deal, but higher goop factor. Eew. So I grabbed some Clorox wipes and did a doorknob and handle circuit, which gave me a happy sigh when I finished. But then I took off my shoes.

Either I would never make it in a third-world country, or my family would fit in just fine.

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