Our new pets are worms

We recently acquired a pound of worms to eat our garbage and teach us something. The Maker, age 7, is the boss of all these worms and the font of all the following information.

1. We have one pound of worms.
Are they a herd? A warren? A flotilla? Unknown at this time. We also don’t know how many worms are in a pound. We would open a betting pool, but then we’d have to count them.

2. Our worms are vegan!
They don’t eat meat or dairy, and they don’t want any cooked food. Who knew? I wonder if all worms are vegan (The Maker doesn’t know).

3. Our worms are shy.
We aren’t allowed to look at our worms for one entire week. They apparently get upset and need time to adjust to their new home, our Worm Coach tells us. However, we looked at them a couple of times (we even took their photo and published it on the internet) and they didn’t holler or anything.

4. What are our new pets named?
One wise-cracking geek friend (Hi, Bob!) suggested we name them using a hexidecimal system, but he didn’t have any ideas about tagging for identification. The Husband says he’s just gonna call them all “Fellas” which aroused a debate about the gender of our worms. The Maker assures us they are all boys.

5. Worm marriage
The Maker explains: “How they get married is, um, they find a partner – it doesn’t have to be a boy and it doesn’t have to be a girl – then they stick their bodies together for a couple of minutes or a couple of hours, and then the sticky stuff goes away and they’re married.” We tried to find out about worm babies but both The Maker and Wikipedia were unclear.

6. Worms want a quiet, stable environment
Without lots of loud noises, vibrations, excessive thumping down the stairs, hollering, fart jokes, rudeness, or bad smells. If our worms are this uptight they may not make it in this house. Sometimes we like to pogo to Led Zep.

7. Holding our new pets
If you want to hold a worm, says the Maker, you are supposed to spritz your hand with water first. He was the one who was hot to hold one, but since we have to leave them alone in a quiet environment for an entire week I told him he can hold one next week after they are all dead.

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6 Responses to Our new pets are worms

  1. browse July 5, 2008 at 10:48 am #

    Wikipedia says it is a “knot” of worms.

  2. bryan July 5, 2008 at 2:26 pm #

    this is one of those posts that i know i’ll only find at the glowing edge…awesome!

  3. Teri July 7, 2008 at 5:11 pm #

    When I was growing up, my father decided to make a worm bed. He installed it in the woods next to our house, and as a kid, I thought it was fun to go and poke around to look for the fattest, gooeyest worms we could find. My sister was the only kid in the family who liked to go fishing, and even as a little thing, she would go out and dig up her own worms take her own fishing pole and fish for hours – always throwing the fish back. Of course, even though I was glad she threw the fish back, I always felt sorry for the worms, and actually considered them pets. I don’t remember what happened to the worm farm, but your post has reminded me to find out. I imagine we just got tired of it, took the worm bed apart and made all of the worms free range worms out in the woods.

  4. Lisa Creech Bledsoe July 8, 2008 at 8:16 am #

    Free range worms. That is sooo funny! Yes, you definitely need to let us know. I can see it now, like one of those People Magazine follow-up articles on some child star: “The Fellas: Where are they now?” Some of them will have experimented with drugs, frittered their money away, and become bad examples, and some will be teaching grade school or selling their photography on the internet…

  5. Pam July 9, 2008 at 7:53 am #

    Thanks for a great laugh this morning! I’m so glad I found your blog 🙂

  6. Jeni Q August 26, 2008 at 7:56 am #

    Hi Lisa,
    Found you through vermicomposters.com. I’m a local vermicomposter and thought I’d touch base. Let me know if I can offer any advice or assistance. 🙂

    Worms are great!

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