Playing the banana lottery

I have four guys in my family. Nobody really cooks much, so I try to keep reasonably healthy and easy-to-eat (read: no actual cooks are used in the making of this item) foods around for them. Bananas are on the list.

But my family is funny about bananas. They will love them, devour them, never let them go bad some of the time. I may pick up bananas twice, or even three times in a given week because they are eating so many of them. But sometimes I buy a bunch of bananas andÂ… they sit there. Growing their inevitable brown spots. And I will say brightly to my boys at every new opportunity, “Banana for your cereal, hmm?” or “How about a peanut butter and banana sandwich tonight?” or “Would you like to take a nice banana for your lunch/snack/friend today?”

I am a terrible banana salesperson. They never go for this.

I am slowly coming to grips with the fact that my family has a collective banana toggle switch and it’s either on or it’s off. There’s no place I can check on this switch, either. The only way to know if everyone is “banana on” is to actually purchase some and see. It’s exactly like playing the lottery. Insert money, receive bananas. Sorry, you’re a big banana loser today. Please buy again!

I used to have a fantasy about making banana bread after losing the banana lottery. I would in complete good faith tuck my bananas into the freezer beside the pot pies, pizza, burritos, and the few other “instant” freezer foods I stock. “Sleep well, little bananas,” I would whisper, “I’ll be back for you!” Six months later one of the boys would drag them out and shout (because they always shout) for someone (who, do you think?) to throw them out to make room for more pizzas, a science experiment, or even (this is a true story) six Tupperware containers full of rare North Carolina snow.

So now the losing bananas feed our worms. Which, by the way, are now free range worms. Of course I feel guilty, starving children in Haiti and so forth.

But three times in a row now I’ve brought home bananas and they’ve all been eaten. I’m on a lucky streak, and I really feel like I can win. I plan to play again.

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8 Responses to Playing the banana lottery

  1. Jeanne November 18, 2008 at 3:28 pm #

    Same thing in my house, but you have an option – banana cream PIE!! If you have 6 of them there is also banana pudding which never takes that whole box of Nilla Wafers (one of God’s most perfect gifts to us). Banana bread never motivates me. Banana pudding on the other hand….

  2. torka November 18, 2008 at 3:28 pm #

    You’re not the only one. We play the banana lottery at my house, too. Only I seem to lose more often than you do. (Maybe because we’ve got fewer people playing?)

    We have come up with our version of a “second chance drawing” though — my husband loves making smoothies and milkshakes, into which slightly to moderately overripe bananas make an excellent addition. So when the ‘naners start to turn brown, I know we’re going to be having milkshakes for evening snacks! Woo-hoo!

  3. Lisa Creech Bledsoe November 18, 2008 at 3:47 pm #

    Jeanne, I will admit: I have never had banana creme pie. I’m scared of it. Is it gross?

    Torka! I never even THOUGHT of smoothies. That would SO work. So long as there’s something else to put in the blender with the “nanners” (what a funny word). Otherwise it might be too much like banana creme pie, which might be gross although I don’t know yet.

  4. browse November 18, 2008 at 4:34 pm #

    Smoothies! Banana pudding with Nilla wafers!

  5. Lisa Creech Bledsoe November 18, 2008 at 5:02 pm #

    I meant to say I’ve also never had banana pudding. Foods with that texture worry me a little. Slimy. But I’ll withhold judgement until I actually try some. And I bet my boys would EAT IT!

    Hello? Recipes R us? Can you send my boys a recipe for banana pudding with Nilla wafers? Kthxbye.

  6. Geoff November 19, 2008 at 12:32 am #

    Lisa,

    Give this a whirl…http://www.backofthebox.com/recipes/desserts/original-nilla-banana-pudding-g.html

    Back to the banana lottery…we have the same thing at my place…although usually other fruits too. Oh…how about the bottom of the cold cereal box. Not enough for a full bowl and all the dust/crumbs make the milk nasty!

  7. Lisa Creech Bledsoe November 19, 2008 at 9:16 am #

    Hey, this recipe looks do-able. Somehow I thought over-ripe slimy bananas were going to be in it, but that’s not the case at all. I may actually try this. Thanks, Geoff!

    Re: cereal crumbs — we seem to have people in our house who will eat that stuff. Or maybe Cheerios don’t have much in the way of crumbs…

    It’s comforting, in a weird sort of way, to know I’m not the only player of the banana lottery…

  8. Dana December 3, 2008 at 12:31 pm #

    I make a banana smoothie with egg whites ( the liquid kind in the box) some ice and water and then a dash of coconut or orange extract. Protein and Fruit…and if you close your eyes you can *almost* fool yourself into thinking it’s a pina colada.

    The best gift I ever received was the Magic Bullet blender….love that thing!

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