The Glowing Edge

Tag: Family

  • Boxing and Deafness: Interview with Sarah

    Boxing and Deafness: Interview with Sarah

    Boxing offers challenges enough for pretty much anyone who considers taking it on. Which means most people who try it have guts… and plenty of great stories. In my last post I talked about the critical nature of training yourself to hear your coach, and received some very interesting input from a boxer who has never actually heard her coach. Because she’s deaf.

    Meet Sarah. She’s 40 years old, living in Chicago with her partner and her 4 year old daughter. She’s been deaf since the age of three. Sarah has been boxing off and on since 2003, and recently had her first competitive boxing match. She graciously agreed to let me interview her about boxing, about training, and about the challenges she faces in the ring.

    How did you get started in boxing?

    I always wanted to learn a martial art, even as a young child. I remember putting on red mittens when I was in grade school, trying to convince my sister to “pretend” box. In 2003, when I was going through a difficult time, a friend said “Tomorrow, do something you always wanted to try.” So I called Spears Boxing went the next day. At the time, I thought I was too old to start, which is hilarious to me now. I loved it, and have boxed on and off every since.

    What does your family think about your boxing?

    It varies depending on who you ask! My partner supports it, she always says “I see how happy it makes you, so I want you to keep doing it.”  My mother doesn’t like it, and forwards me articles about head injuries. My sister trains with me, although she doesn’t spar. My daughter knows that I “go to boxing” but she doesn’t know it involves hitting actual people.

    It is very hard to balance family and boxing. I have to have child care arranged (either from my partner or someone else) for every minute I spend in the gym. That really limits how much time I can devote to it.

    How does being deaf affect your training?

    If I wear my hearing aids, I can hear my coach a little bit in regular training, but I don’t always wear them because sweat is not good for them. Being deaf affects me the most in sparring, because I definitely can’t wear my hearing aids under head gear. I generally do not hear any of the bells. I don’t know when to start or end a round, or when the 30 second bell rings. I don’t hear the coach yelling instructions at me. So I miss that aspect of coaching. I also I can’t lip read anyone wearing a mouth guard!

    For sparring, I always am careful to let any new sparring partner know I can’t hear. They have have to keep their guard up until I realize the round is over, because I can’t hear the bell to stop. Usually the person will just step back and wave me off. When I had my one actual match, the referee had to break us up more physically because I can’t hear them yell “break!”

    Are cochlear implants a possibility?

    My audiologist advised me to look into cochlear implants. But one problem with the cochlear is that I would have to stop boxing, at least sparring. To me, that is a major drawback for the cochlear at this time. When I told one doctor that was a factor in my decision not to consider cochlear right now, she looked baffled, like I had made a weird joke.

    What does your training look like currently?

    The class I take is for 90 minutes twice a week and I try to make both. I don’t always. I am trying to work in a day of weight training but haven’t done it yet.I always do jump rope, heavy bags, and medicine drill balls with my sister. Ideally, I would always do the speedbag but it has been broken in our gym. I almost always spar.

    What do you find most rewarding, and/or most frustrating in boxing right now?

    The most rewarding thing is feeling like I am improving. Boxing skills did not come naturally to me, it’s not something I have learned quickly or easily. So to start seeing that I am finally doing better is the best feeling. The most frustrating thing is feeling slow. I am not a very  fast or coordinated person, and it is difficult to see how I can get to a higher level without some speed.

    What exercises do you absolutely hate, dread, or refuse to do? What are your faves?

    I hate sit ups of any kind.  My favorite is sparring, it just is. However, I also really like the speedbag, it is very meditative. I like practicing uppercuts on a bag, that just makes my arms happy.

    What made you decide to compete?

    It was a bucket list thing for me! I never did it and I felt like I would regret it if I didn’t try. I also wanted to experience the whole thing…coach taping your hands, a referee, spectators….

    Tell us about your recent fight! And what’s next for you?

    It was a blast! I lost a match to a firefighter in a Chicago Park District fight. She was a lot more experienced, although I had a size advantage (I’m 5’9). I actually saw a news video of her training before one of her fights and I knew that she would be very tough to beat. She looked so strong, she had the arm advantage!

    However, I enjoyed the whole experience…weighing in, wearing the shorts, warming up with my coach. My sister got to be my corner person, which was about the coolest thing ever.

    Chicago Park District fights are 1 minute round, and that was way too short to me. It was hard to get a good rythmn. As far as the actual fight went, I was more defensive then I would normally be, and wished I had been more aggressive. I felt like I did not get a lot of punches in.

    However, the goal for me was to get in there and box, and I was happy I did that. It was just a really fun, positive night. Someone took a picture of the moment my opponent’s hand was raised in victory, and even in that picture I am smiling.

    I hope to have more fights in the future within the Chicago Park district system. My opponent  has already asked if I would rematch.

    Ideally I would like to fight someone who is more similar to me in experience level. Now that I’ve done the fight, I want to do more.  Having a fight coming up motivated me in training and eating better more than anything else. I felt like training to be fight-ready was great for my mental health.

    What goals are you currently working on in the ring?

    Right now, I would like to work on being a more complete boxer. At Spears, we mostly sparred with guys, offense only. So when I got to Loyola Park, I was aggressive, but incredibly sloppy and terrible about defense. Learning to simply keep my hands up has been a challenge in itself. Now I would like to learn more about footwork and strategies. I would like to be confident doing more than 1,2 combinations in the ring.

    What’s the ONE THING you wish you had right now that would really help move your game forward?

    TIME!  I wish I had more time train more seriously and focus on boxing. It is good to know that others like you have succeeded at boxing, even with a “late” start. This gives me hope that I can keep at it and keep getting better.

    Thanks, Sarah, for sharing some of you story with me and everyone else at TGE. I’ll look forward to hearing about your next fight! – Lisa

    Image: Sarah, her sister, and her coach after her first fight.

  • Say Hello to Rocky

    Say Hello to Rocky

    When my freelance writing business really started humming this fall, I decided that I was ready to get my purse dog.

    I’m home, happily working on the computer all day, but I wanted company. Olive and Henry are not particularly focused on my needs, so I paid them back in full. (Actually, Olive adores my solution.)

    Meet Rocky.

    He already had his name when I got him, so don’t go all “Ooooh, she named him after a boxer, cause, you know, she’s a boxer too…I get it!”

    And Rocky is terrified of pretty much everything except our family and cats, definitely not the fearless type. He hasn’t yet been able to make it on a walk around our block yet, because there are… noises. Strange people. Children on scooters, horrors!

    But we’re working on that. Periodically I try to get Rocky all pumped up by calling him by more fierce, ass-kicking names. “Rocky Bruce Chuck John Jet Clint!” I’ll say. “Let’s go get ’em!”

    He sits happily near my pillow and wonders if he’s about to get a treat.

    So of course I give him one, ’cause he’s just so damn adorable.

    Rocky is a Mi-Ki, which is a breed that comes out of a Papillon, Maltese, and Japanese Chin. He has the “Phalen,” or flop-down ears, which is what the Papillons originally had, before they were bred for the “up” ears. Both are adorable (types of ears and dogs), and both are acceptable in the breed.

    Just like Papillons, Mi-Kis are bred to be companion dogs. They’re quiet, calm, and attentive, very much like a cat with loyalty. Rocky is utterly content to sit in my lap or by my feet all day long, with periodic breaks to play chase and tumble with Olive. He doesn’t yap (although he does bark once or twice to warn me if he hears a strange noise), and he’s not boingy like some little dog breeds. That’s a picture of me, taking my music lesson, while Rocky poses cutely nearby.

    This breed has feet shaped like rabbit feet, and they have long hair that grows between their toes, like Hobbits. I don’t know, all dogs may have toe fur, but Rocky’s is the best, of course. He also has an adorable pink tummy. (Don’t get excited, I’m still not a “dog person,” it’s just that Rocky is not really a, you know, dog.)

    Mi-Kis, like Papillons, don’t have an undercoat, so they hardly shed, and yes indeedy I did buy him a sweet little coat for the cold weather (it’s grey, very masculine). And I didn’t even flinch when handing over $20 for a piece of quilted fabric about as big as a napkin.

    The picture at the top is Rocky with The Duck Twins. They are his current favorite obsession. Martha Stewart made those for him, and I paid top dollar, I tell you, top dollar for them. It was worth it. They have squeakies.

    You may think I can’t tell The Twins apart but I can, because Rocky chewed the foot off of one of them. I’ve included a close up so you can view the damage. When I asked him where the amputated body part was he went all Cookie Monster on me, shaking his head and going “Om, nom, nom, nom!”

    Did I mention his favorite treat is duck jerky? No lie, this is available for your dog at Target. I have to cut ours down to a reasonable size, but Rocky thinks it is the greatest. food. evar.

    Well, except for cat food, which he tries to sneak when I’m not looking. Olive encourages this.

    Of course, “little” Olive outweighs Rocky by a good bit — she’s 8 pounds and he’s 5 (they’re both full grown), and Olive can whup him in a fight if she’s a mind to. But she pretty much indulges Rocky in anything and everything, and they have a lovely time together.

    In fact, I caught Olive using her brain (who knew she even had one!) recently in a Rocky-n-Olive romp session. You know that old Looney Tunes gag where Bugs Bunny is being chased in a circle by Yosemite Sam, and once they are a solid blur, Bugs steps calmly out and crunches his carrot while watching Sam continue to run crazily by? Who would have thought Olive would be able to do that — successfully! — to Rocky. But I have witnessed this with mine own eyeballs. It’s the first cat-like behavior (other than napping) that Olive has ever exhibited.

    Henry… is the same with Rocky as he is with everyone. He sighs heavily and tries to pretend we don’t exist.

    So that’s our happy little expanded family.

    Now please excuse me while I go change the tab above from “Henry & Olive” to “Henry, Olive, & Rocky.”

  • First Snow of the Year!

    First Snow of the Year!

    Congratulations to The Maker, age 10, the boy who is first out into the first snow of the season.

    (I’m only barely remembering snow from earlier this year.)

    At least this year he didn’t put all the snow he could scrape up (which in NC, isn’t all that much) into my freezer. I know I took photos of that, but for whatever reason I couldn’t find them. Probably tagged them with “Wha–?” instead of “snow.” Any rate, these particular snowballs were launched joyfully outside at other people, and thus dispersed in an immediately effective and much more freezer-space-saving way.

    Oh, and the glasses are pretty wonderful, don’t you agree? I want me summa those.

  • Boxing Q & A

    Boxing Q & A

    A few of you have been asking me great questions about my background and experience in boxing and I promised I would write up a post for you with the answers. There’s not much fancy going on, just a lot of hard work, a little bit of blood (woo-hoo!) and some great boxing community.

    1. Does your family ever get worried you’ll get hurt? Have they ever watched you fight?

    They may worry a little, but they’re mostly over it. If you are going to get in a boxing ring, you’re going to get injured once in a while. I’ve had a broken rib, an injured rotator cuff, and a couple of black eyes. I have a favorite Muy Thai girlfriend and when we kickbox I get some big bruises up and down my legs, of which I’m quite proud.

    I’ve also given out a little damage, too. I don’t necessarily intend to, but sometimes blood happens.

    Everyone in my family has seen me in the ring at least for a few minutes or so. My three sons think it’s pretty cool, but nobody in my family is really “into” it like I am, so it’s pretty rare for me to see them ringside. At first I was a little miffed by this, but I love boxing so much I just don’t seem to mind any more. I box first and foremost for my own pleasure. It’s okay with me that they don’t get as stoked by it as I do. They’re happy for me to enjoy it!

    2. What is the worst injury you ever had?

    The busted rib. No doubt about it.

    3. What is your win loss record sparring? Are you trying to go amateur or pro?

    Here’s how boxing terms are generally used:

    • Sparring: working in the ring with a partner
    • Bout or Match: an officially sanctioned amateur match
    • Fight: an officially sanctioned professional match

    This is made confusing for everyone because all of us use the word “fight” for just about any match, amateur or professional. But we almost never say “I’m fighting tonight” just because we plan to get some ringtime in with someone on the boxing team or at the gym. That’s sparring. Makes sense once you hang out in the boxing universe for a while.

    I am a registered amateur (not a pro) boxer, but I’ve never had an officially sanctioned bout, although I’ve had unofficial ones. This is mostly because there are only a handful of women in my category who are amateur boxers; in fact I am the only one even registered in the state of North Carolina.

    To get an official amateur match, I would have to find a woman within 10 years of my age, within 10 pounds of my weight, within a day’s drive, and who has about the same level of experience as I have. In other words, my trainer would never put me in the ring for my first “official” match with a woman with 10 years experience and 30 bouts under her belt.

    So, it may not happen, and I’m mostly okay with that. I discovered boxing late in life. Plus, getting ring time and great sparring in with my trainers and boxing teammates is a honest-to-God joy that I look forward to every single week.

    Update: Of course, it’s been a little while since I first wrote this. Now I’ve had four sanctioned boxing matches and one exhibition. And I still feel just as good about boxing as the day I started!  — Lisa

    4. Do you spar with men?

    I spar with everyone on the team at my gym (that’s me in the photo, sparring with one of the guys at my gym), and have also sparred with people at other gyms. I spar mostly with men, a few women, in any weight category, and I have hundreds of rounds under my belt. I also spar with pro boxers; that’s where I get the hardest and best work of all.

    5. Did you ever knock or get knocked out?

    No, but I’ve had to take a few 8 counts. When you are sparring with someone you aren’t trying to knock them out; you’re working. Our trainers are always cautioning the new boxers who want to show off in the ring that if they hurt their sparring partners, they won’t have anyone to spar with.

    I’ve had good nights and bad ones (you can’t learn this sport without them), and a few rounds where I only had one good moment to cling to, but I’ve never seen anyone get knocked out except in officially sanctioned amateur or professional matches. I’m pretty sure it sucks!

    I think it happens less in my weight class than in heavier ones. The heavier you are, the more pounds are behind your punch. I’m pretty careful when I get in the ring to spar with a heavyweight; they know not to use their full force on me because when the weights are that imbalanced, you could do some serious damage to someone.

    6. Have you ever boxed barefoot?

    Once. It was a disaster for me; I got awful blisters. Most of the MMA fighters do it though (that was why I tried it). I wear boxing shoes.

    Once you’ve boxed for a while, you realize why boxing shoes — as opposed to running shoes — are so important. Regular shoes are too grippy and wide; boxing and wrestling shoes fit more closely to your foot and offer a little bit of grip while allowing you to slip lightly across the canvas. They don’t have much arch support or cushioning, though, so you don’t want to do much except box in them.

    7. How do people react when they learn you are a boxer? Are they supportive or nasty?

    I get mixed reactions. Most people are guardedly polite and try to change the subject. A few have asked me if I thought I was being irresponsible, given that I am a mom with three kids at home. One or two have been ugly, but all of my friends have slowly come to accept that this is just part of who I am, and if it bothers them some they’ll deal with it because they love me and we are friends.

    I can’t over-emphasize how powerful becoming a part of a boxing community has been for me. I’ve also made so many new friends through boxing; and given the challenges and miseries and triumphs and tough spots of this crazy sport, that has been invaluable.

    8. How’d you get started in this anyway?

    Purely by accident! My husband brought home a heavy bag for our boys, but they weren’t interested. I was, and quickly injured myself because I didn’t know how to throw a punch properly. A girlfriend who heard me talking about it suggested I get connected with this world-class boxing woman she knew at a nearby gym and I called them up, scheduled my first class, and proceeded to fall in love.

    I can’t say enough about how important it is to have the right trainer. Don’t stay at any gym unless you find someone you can trust completely. Big fist bumps to all the trainers I’ve had, but especially the one who introduced me to the sport and continues to inspire me: Bonnie Mann.

     

    Image by Ken Hall of Ken Hall Photography

  • Jack Gordon Scharff, Sr.

    Jack Gordon Scharff, Sr.

    This photo is an absolute treasure to me; my sister brought it to me this fall after a visit with our grandfather, Jack Scharff, who still lives in Memphis TN, where this photo was taken. I had no idea that my grandfather had ever had an interest in boxing.

    He told my sister that he was about 15 years old when this photo was shot, and that he boxed some in high school, but actually did more wrestling than boxing. I think he also wrestled in college.

    My mother describes her dad as a daredevil. I can remember reading a book called Peruvian Rambles, which was written by my great-grandather Abe Scharff to document his time adventuring in Peru with Jack, who was 17 at the time. I loved the scene where they woke up to find their feet all bloody from where the vampire bats had feasted on them like giant mosquitos in the night.

    My grandfather was also a pilot in the Army Air Corps, and when he was stationed in Germany his job was to fly up and down a portion of the Rhine River to keep watch on it.  He told my mother that his plane got shot at more than once.  His plane was not armed, but he had been issued a sidearm…not that it would do much good.  He was able to remove the seat from his plane and replace it with a more substantial one which was a little better at stopping the bullets which penetrated the shell of his plane.

    When I still lived in Memphis he was in his sixties and getting up at 5 am every morning to play racquetball. He taught me just how bad at racquetball I really am, and there are plenty of witnesses to testify.

  • Best Christmas Video EVER

    This is so me, without the New York Jewish mother bit. Or the red hair and five o’clock shadow. And those outfits, yikes! But, you know, it’s me.

    I LOVE the tree! I don’t love the mess or the work but I love to have and see and enjoy the tree. And it really does completely interrupt your life — potentially in a good way, of course. The ornaments all have stories (in our house, most are handmade) and the lights are so lovely, and the smell is divine. And the kitten will try to pull it over and stuff will get broken and we’ll forget to water it and I’ll get sticky stuff all over my hands… sigh.

    I can do without the other commercial garbage, but I really like the tree.

  • What the In-Laws Left at Our House

    1. Roasted Almonds
    2. 3 lb can of Planter’s Peanuts
    3. Almost an entire box of Zone bars in my fave two flavors
    4. 2 packages waffle-press cookies (taste like ice cream cones)
    5. 2 lb bag of Simply Naked pita chips
    6. Harry & David pepper and onion relish (to be poured over cream cheese and eaten with pita chips, above)
    7. Canister of Republic of Tea tea in Holiday Plum Spice
    8. 3 lb bag of Cheez-It snack mix
    9. 2 liters each of Coke, Diet Coke, and Sprite
    10. Giant tupperware container of homemade oatmeal cranberry cookies made with real butter, omg, and crunchy just like I like them.
    11. 1/2 lb of Gevalia Kaffee, decaf
    12. 1/2 lb of Boca Java coffee, regular
    13. Creamer, Splenda, coffee filters (they bring a coffee maker, too, since I tend to drink coffee shop coffee, but they took that home with them)
    14. 15 bags of Orville Redenbacher Smart Pop microwave popcorn
    15. Giant bag of York Peppermint Patties
    16. (Five bucks for each of the boys, which the Maker attempted to double)

    I love my in-laws. They are incredibly easy to get along with and they absolutely adore our kids.

    However, I have just one question: When I become a grandparent and drive for two days just to spend time with my g-kids, am I actually going to be willing to leave behind all the cookies?

    Cause like, I could take just a few for the road…

  • Sneaky Boy Money Making Tactics

    Sneaky Boy Money Making Tactics

    Gram and Papa Clyde took all of us to IHOP this morning before they headed back to Memphis. We dined sumptuously on pancakes, french toast, bacon, eggs, hash browns, biscuits and gravy, and the Maker and the Ice competed to see who could drink more of the little creamers in the baskets on our three pushed-together tables. (Thankfully they left the little jellies alone this time: you think they’re maturing?)

    Toward the end of breakfast, I saw Gram whisper quietly to the Ice “Do you have a pocket for this?” as she surreptitiously passed him a crisp five dollar bill under the table.

    “Thank you, thank you!” he whispered excitedly, bouncing up and down in his seat.

    She grinned and turned to the First, sitting on her other side. “Do you have a pocket for this?” she asked slyly, slipping him a fresh five.

    “I love you, Gram, thank you,” the First whispered back to her, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

    By now the Maker had taken notice, despite the adult conversation swirling around him. Before Gram had a chance to ask him her question he leaned forward in his seat and whispered across the table: “I have two pockets.”

    That’s my boy.

    Photo by sea-turtle

  • Introducing Olive

    Introducing Olive

    This is Olive.

    She’s deeply interested in the dangle-y wrist strap on my camera. She would like to inspect it more carefully, with her tiny sharp teeth.

    Olive came home with me a couple of days ago, much to the irritation of Henry, our giant orange tabby. Henry weighs 17 pounds, is not fat, and he is emphatically not a lap kitty. He owns Garner, and dispenses cranky remarks from his overburdened cat perch in the windowsill. Olive is 4 months old, weighs as much as a cheezburger, and thinks Henry loves her.

    Don’t worry; we’re watching out for Olive.

    Olive Editing my Photos

    Olive is entirely a lap kitty, in addition to being a laptop kitty, as you see demonstrated above. Helpful is a word she applies to herself, although that isn’t precisely the word I used when I returned from the kitchen to find she had deleted my last photo import with her butt.

    We think she’s going to fit in just fine.

    Top photo credit: The Maker (edited by me)

  • I Forgot to Figure This Out in Advance

    I Forgot to Figure This Out in Advance

    I wasn’t sure what to expect, even though I used to be a teenage girlfriend. I think I just had my brain so laser-focused on raising three little boys that I didn’t consider what it would be like to raise three towering-over-me boys and their magically expanding universe of friends. I may have sort of forgotten that at some point, those friends would be girlfriends.

    I really need a book on this, just so I don’t screw it up now that I’ve realized.

    So. This is The First, and the gorgeous creature next to him is, of course, the girlfriend I forgot to figure out in advance. What’s weird is that while I’m not sure how to be the mom of a teenager with a girlfriend, she seems perfectly calm, rational, and — unlike me — she doesn’t seem to be casting about wildly in order to figure out what to do with herself. It may help that she has four older sisters.

    Can I please get a retroactive older sister, here? It’s fairly urgent.

    They have been together for a while now (6 months? a year? Shoot, I need to remember to ask), and I knew this but never said Oh, we need to have her over for… whatever it is that you have your son’s girlfriend over for. Dinner? How did I fail to do this For A Year? Augh.

    Thankfully, the First figured that part out. He invited her to go to church with us, then to come home to watch a movie. When he asked me about it, I panicked.

    “Do NOT make her watch one of your awful horror movies! ‘Saw 4’ is OUT.”

    “Mom,” the First replied equably, “We’re not gonna watch Saw.”

    “Okay,” I breathed in, and tried madly to figure out what the mom is supposed to say next. “Okay, and if you want to watch the movie with all of us we can all be down here in the den.”

    I admit I’m an idiot.

    And after I said it, I tried to fix it. “But of course if you want to watch it — just the two of you — up in your room, the rule is that the door stays open. And… and… don’t forget to let me take a picture when she comes over. I should have a picture.”

    Ugh. I swear I’ll be smoother with the Ice, really I will. (Was the picture part too much?)

    “No problem,” replied the First.

    And there wasn’t. She came over. They watched a nice movie with the door open. Later he brought me the camera and patiently waited while I snapped a couple of photos.

    And when I uploaded it to Facebook I even got a note from her. She likes it.

    I’m doing fine, don’t you think?