Tag Archives | language

False Hippo Intelligence

The Maker: So what do hippos eat? The Husband: Hippos are herbivores. That means they eat grass and river weeds and stuff. Me: And fish, they eat fish. The Husband: They do not eat fish, they’re herbivores. Me: They DO eat fish! Remember the poem? “See the handsome hippopotamus / Wading on the river-bottomus / […]

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Just Superlative

I happened to pick up a debut novel titled Singularity, penned by the unfortunately-named Bill DeSmedt. The jacket flap copy on this novel had three all-caps headers: A MAVERICK ASTROPHYSICIST (this character “fingered the culprit”) A ROOKIE SECRET AGENT (a woman! and fresh out of secret agent school, where she probably double-majored in w.m.d. and […]

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why men are wonderful

A few months ago I decided I would like to lose five pounds. More recently I got started on the project in earnest. As the weight began to come off, I noticed a cool benchmark in the process I hadn¬ít thought of before. “I’ve decided to get the ‘6’ out of the ten’s place in […]

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collectively-signed office birthday cards

collectively-signed office birthday cards

These are a common corporate challenge. You have to think of something harmless, witty, and inspirational in eight words or less. What I need is some haikus in reserve, because “Happy Birthday!” with a smiley face in the swoop of the Y just doesn’t work. I don’t want to be trite (though I usually am) […]

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