TGE Badass Guide

The Badass Guide to Writing Your First Book

Are you ready for the first non-boxing post I’ve written in a while? I LOVE having a blog where I can do any damn thing I want to, y’all. And the bad-a-licious news is that the first book with my evil twin Sonja Foust, “Bagels, Dirty Limericks, and Martinis: The Badass Guide to Writing Your First Book” is LIVE and available on Amazon. I almost said it’s “finally” live, but the little bastard was so fast and easy to write (we did it in less than 40 hours of time each, start to finish) that “finally” doesn’t really apply.

Three in a row, you win the giant plush martini!

Now that I’ve written that subhead, I’m wondering just how flexible Cafe Press might be… But what I was going to say is that Sonja and I started writing the first Badass Guide in January on a whim, and damned if it didn’t just come right together like a group of hungry monkeys over a pile of raisins. It happened so fast we had trouble slowing down, and two more books are also finished and in the editing stages. You can take a look at those two over at the site we whipped together called Badass Writing.

While you’re over there, sign up and we’ll ping you when the next ones come out (expected publication dates of April and May, 2013). We’ll let you know when they are FREE FREE FREE, and eventually we’ll also send along a little bonus treat we’re working on. You can also find Badass Writing on Facebook at this link.

How to get your digital cuddles

Did that subhead sound potentially porn-y? I dunno where this shit is coming from, y’all. I just wanted to tell you that even though it’s only available on Kindle right now, in a few months it will become available on Smashwords, and in formats for Nook, etc. And if you don’t have a Kindle, you can still read it on one of the free Kindle apps linked here.

Leave a review, win a prize!

It can be kind of an ass-pain to leave a review on Amazon, so Sonja and I are going to offer a free “Ask Us Anything” teleconference to everyone who gets the book and takes the time to review it online. We have plans to reveal some of the juiciest nuggets of Behind The Scenes gossip about what happened during the course of writing and publishing our first book, and we hope you’ll come with plenty of rude, funny, insightful questions for us to answer, too.

Just post your review by April 10, then email us at, and we’ll get you the hookup for our teleconference, which will happen on April 13. And don’t worry, we’ll record it, so if you can’t be there live, we’ll send you the recording. (Please still send us your questions!)

Did I mention it’s free?

It is, until April 8th. So please get your copy, and tell everyone else to get theirs, too! Share tha luv, y’all. The more you share, the less likely you’ll be reborn in your next life as a giant weta. Uh-huh, Google that nasty li’l motherfucker. You don’t want that thing on your karma, no way. So pass the word and amass weta-free karma.

What’s innit, yo?

Plenty good yum-yums, I promise. First of all, you’ll get the down-and-dirty on hammering out your book, whether it’s fiction, non-fiction, or a weird alien hybrid. We’ll tell you all the reasons you should write your book, and explain the absolute minimum requirements. You’ll learn the ironclad rules of writing (and find out why most of them are crap), you’ll get our two most important writing tools, and then we’ll guide you step-by-step through the process of writing your very first book outline — in less than 5 minutes!

Once you have the guts, we’ll help you put on the skeleton, and maybe fancy that ugly thing up a little. There’s a chapter on plotting, and one on writing for online readers. Finally, we share why your first draft is allowed to suck hard, and give you the secrets of finishing your book. There are worksheets for EVERYTHING, so you never have to wonder what to do next.

And the very last chapter explains exactly how we wrote the book, including the dirty limericks. You’ll have to make your own martini. We tried to include it, but it made the words all blurry. Or maybe we didn’t try to include the martini, we were drinking the martini. Yeah, I think that was it.

So who’s the evil twin?

You may know Sonja as the hilarious woman over at Pintester. There isn’t a penis joke yet invented that she hasn’t told, drawn, baked, applied to a candle (um, I should give you that link, but I couldn’t find it fast enough. Please leave it in the comments if you find it.), or encouraged her fans to share. You can see the story of her blog here (watch to the very end, I’m just sayin’…).

Um, don’t tell your Grandma about this…

She might be offended by all the swears, or the dirty limericks. Possibly by the penis references. All of which are entirely relevant to the subject matter, we’re pretty sure. Mostly sure. Anyway, we’re just tryna keep you and your Grandma, you know, clean and wholesome-like. Righteous.

Now go get it

Still here? Click over and get your badass book! Don’t forget to leave a review and email so we can get you on our free call. And pass it on!

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8 Responses to The Badass Guide to Writing Your First Book

  1. Girlboxing April 12, 2013 at 8:14 am #

    Just got your book, chicka … can’t wait to read it. It is my prize for getting to the 20th Century! Just 10 more years to go. Who knew there could be so much women’s boxing from the 1870s-1900 😉

    • Lisa Creech Bledsoe April 12, 2013 at 8:48 am #

      Aww, thanks, sweetheart. And congrats on making it to the 20th century! 🙂 Keep on working — it’s worth it in the end. (But it’s hella much work now, huh?)

  2. niamh April 12, 2013 at 5:33 pm #

    You wrote a book! Brilliant! And it sounds like one I should definitely check out too – is a boxing book your next one up?

  3. niamh April 12, 2013 at 5:35 pm #

    Aaagh! Mortified – clearly I have not been here for a while, just found the link to your Boxing book! Reading now …

    • Lisa Creech Bledsoe April 12, 2013 at 6:15 pm #

      Lol, no worries, niamh — Those two (37 Reasons to Take Up Boxing, and The Badass Manifesto) are shorties, and I love them, but I have a more regular-length book coming out on Amazon about sparring. It’s actually finished, and waiting for me to find 2 seconds to format and upload it…! Will let everyone know the instant I get it up there.

  4. Natalia April 19, 2013 at 12:26 pm #

    Hi Lisa,

    I just wanted to drop by and let you know that I have already finished the first book and the unicorns are waiting for me on my Kindle app.. hahaha

    I just wanted to say Congrats! and thank you for all the inspiration and tips that both you and Sonja have given me through this book. I loved it!… I already went to Amazon and left my 5 star review!! Can’t wait to get started on the unicorns.

    As I told Sonja, this book allowed me to pinpoint two books that are inside my head and waiting to come to life. The weird part is that one is non-fiction and the other is fiction borderline sci fi which has nothing to do with the other.

    Well, I guess that’s all for now, I’ll let you know how this book writing experience goes …

    • Lisa Creech Bledsoe April 19, 2013 at 2:39 pm #

      Nataliaaaaaaa! Thanks so much for the fabulous Amazon review! I’m crazy-stoked to hear that you are schizo just like us, and have multiple personalities, err… unrelated BOOKS waiting in your head to be released into this crazy leetle werld. DO keep us both updated — and we’ll def let you know as soon as we get Book Three uploaded and available. 🙂 Write on!

  5. Lisa Creech Bledsoe April 19, 2013 at 2:40 pm #

    Zoikes! Meant to leave everyone a link to Book Two…

    Whiskey-Pissing Unicorns: How to Lose or Quit Your Job and Become a Badass Writer

    (FREE, as of the time of this comment!)

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