the big gross-out

I just read Sarah Brown’s Heebie Jeebie post and nearly perished laughing and gagging at the same time. I obsessively read every single comment as well. And began compiling my own list of stuff that utterly creeps me out.

1. Those little wooden “spoons” they used to give you to eat your tiny plastic cup of ice cream with. We had these in the school cafeteria and even the sound of someone unwrapping the paper off of one made my chest start to constrict. The thought of lips pulling ice cream off of one of those little suckers gives me more misery than any three other heebie-jeebie gross-outs. Bar none, it’s the worst. Popsicle sticks are bad, too. Just, like, nightmare bad.

2. Teeth on a fork. Sadly, this wretched habit exists in my family. Um, in other adults in my family whom I can’t correct. Fortunately, we only sit down to eat together about once a week, and sometimes we don’t even use cutlery, thank heaven.

3. Flour on homemade biscuits. Who wants a mouthful of dust??

4. Slime in any form, particularly in food.

5. When I sit down in our kitchen and my arms (or any other body part) adheres to the table. Aargh!

I notice, on reflection, that all my peeves are connected to food. I guess nubby sweaters and that horrible theme song from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly (DON’T whistle it. Just. Don’t.) aren’t as bad as food issues for me. No surprise there.

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