why boys need fathers

Me: Ask me any question about girls and I’ll tell you the answer.
The Maker (instantly): Why can’t boys slap girls?
Me: Uhhh…
The Maker (clarifying): ‘Cause girls can slap girls. And girls can slap boys. But boys can’t slap girls. Boys are only supposed to hit other boys.
Me (stumped): Ask your father.
The Maker (recovering immediately): Ok, then why do most girls like long hair and most boys like short?
Me: Umm… Hm. Perhaps you have an easier one?
The Maker (obligingly): Sure. Why do most girls like Barbies and most boys don’t?
Me (uttering a silent prayer of thanksgiving): Easy! TV. All the commercials for Barbies are for girls, and they show Barbies doing girlie things. If they would just make some Barbie commercials showing her transforming into a robot or riding a dirt bike in the X games, boys would like ’em. (continuing, euphoric) Ask me another marketing question!

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